I don't understand why the "Pixels" trailer makes me feel hatred.

Hot, frothing, stomach-churning hatred.

And it's weird, because I never have that kind of reaction to movies.

I mean- I don't really care for Adam Sandler. I don't find his movies very funny, so I don't bother to watch them. And I guess I've always considered myself too evolved to feel hatred for a stranger just because there artistic sensibilities are incongruent with my own, so I don't know why "Pixels" should be any different than any other movie I don't see this year. 

Oh, and I have absolutely ZERO problems with remakes, reboots, retcons, re-imaginings, sequels, prequels, or any of that other happy horseshit.

I don't think that Donkey Kong farting on David Spade will harm the integrity of the character or take away from my previous experience of the video game in any way. 

I don't mind that this is a big-budget adaptation of a short film. I'm in the short film business too and if Adam Sandler wants to remake The Push Hard Inn with Rob Schneider as the star, then I'm fucking in! I don't even mind that in adapting the short, they seem to have also borrowed liberally from a great episode of Futurama.

So I can not think of one single good god damn reason why I should have any sort of emotional reaction to this piece of shit whatsover. But still, here I am. I'd rather watch holocaust footage than Pixels. I would rather watch a pedophile snuggle a puppy. I would rather watch Adam Sandler wipe his ass with my grandmothers love letters from the war than this movie.

I hope that everyone involved in making it is unhappy right now.

Except for the plucky bastard that made the original short. I hope he's swimming around in a pool of Adam Sandler's money a la Scrooge McDuck.

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