All these Fantastic 4 leaks beg the question: Who cares?

We’ve gotten 3 leaks on the upcoming Fantastic 4 recently.

First Howard Stern let it slip that he’s been cast in a Dr. Doom project, presumably a Disney+ show which will supplement the Fantastic 4 movie. Stern probably won’t play Doom, which is disappointing because I would love to see Dr. Doom screaming at Reed Richards about his tiny penis.

Then we got this concept art that allegedly shows Dr. Doom in the post-credits scene of Black Panther 2.

And now we’ve got a leak that says Penn Badgley is the top choice for Reed Richards and Simon Baker is up for Dr. Doom.

Badgley is best known for being on Gossip Girl and the Netflix show You, neither of which I’ve seen. He’s got the right look for Mr. Fantastic. John Krasinski has always been the fan favorite for Reed Richards but I never really saw it and I felt like his brief appearance really just seemed like Jim Halpert in a Halloween costume.

Simon Baker is also a TV star, best known for his roles on The Mentalist and The Guardian. I’ve never seen either of those shows either. But again— this guys got the right look, even if he’ll be under a mask for most of the performance.

The leak also says they’re looking at actors ranging from 20-30, including Logan Lerman, Freddy Carter, Melissa Benoist, Callan McAuliffe, Natalia Dyer and Jharrel Jerome.

Melissa Benoist played Supergirl on the CW and Marley on Glee, and Natalia Dyer just had a heck of a showing in the latest season of Stranger Things. Both seem like fine choices for Susan Storm.

All of these actors look like they could be a good fit for their characters. As I Googled each of them, I could see roughly what they’re going for. The other 3 dudes on that list are also generally CW types who look like they could play a competent Johnny Storm

But honestly, who gives a shit? Is anyone really all that excited for another Fantastic 4? It’s hard to imagine but it wasn’t that long ago when F4 was a vastly bigger property than Iron Man, but Robert Downey Jr. changed that in a major way, as did 2 generally lousy previous attempts at launching a Fantastic 4 franchise.

I think it’s safe to say that phase 4 has been mid at best. The movies and shows have been fun but lacking in “wow” factor other than a few cute easter eggs and cameos, so far. They’re also starting get very repetitive and it’s hard to buy into the stakes after all of the time-travel/multiverse fuckery we’ve seen already.

That first fight scene in Avengers when Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor squared up was amazing. It was a game changer. And they built on that moment with more massive moments, match ups, show downs, and unlikely partnerships.

But is anyone really jacked up for the first time we see Ms. Marvel team up with Ms. Hawkeye to fight some dude who was on The OC or whatever?

The MCU jumped the shark. I’m not sure when exactly, but I know it was sometime between Tony Stark’s funeral and the Illuminati massacre.

I guess we’ll see if the CW all-stars can bring some life back into the MCU, but odds are I’ll see it on an airplane a year after it comes out.

I made an NFT to commemorate the Ricky Rat vs fnnch feud (and maybe pick a fight)

fnnch claims he’s trying to “democratize art”.

Like many self-styled street art maverick types, fnnch likes to think that he’s shaking up power structures and toppling the status quo.

Well I think fnnch is the power structure.

He’s one of the bougie elite who gets an oversized say in the world for no good reason at all. Maybe he’s the status quo that needs to be toppled.

And I think NFTs are going to shake things up. I’m not sure how, but I think they’ll be relevant to the future. I heard a podcast that said Elon Musk was going to start snatching platinum out of passing asteroids and that will crater the value of precious metals on earth (which all of our currency is based on) and then we’ll all be living on NFTs. It makes sense to me.

This NFT is not currently listed for sale, but I will entertain offers. Ownership of the NFT comes with ownership of the physical piece.

The 6 Best Vacation Spots For Single Guys

Traveling can be a great way to meet new people when you’re a single guy.

If you’re like me and you enjoy international travel with the potential for romance and adventure, then you'll want to know my top 6 vacation destinations for single guys!

1. Dover Hilton

I went here for StampCon, the third largest stamp collecting convention on the East Coast. The convention was terrible. I went for all 3 days and hated every second of it. I just don't get it. But then again, I don't collect stamps so I guess it would have been better if I did. Everyone who collected stamps seemed to enjoy it.

Some people were there with their families, and that made me feel awful.

Still, you can't blame that on the hotel. They had a lovely continental breakfast which included a Belgian waffle bar. The waffle maker was broken, so I just had some cereal. I hope that the waffle maker is fixed by next year's StampCon.

2. Hampton Beach Ramada

They had the coldest air conditioning I've ever felt. So cold that it could keep the room ice cold even when I cranked up the heat full blast at the same time AND opened the windows. I got a room that had a window that opened up directly to a brick wall, which had been painted black. So I cranked up the AC and the heat and took a shit ton of ambien and slept for four days.

It was the happiest I've ever felt.

3. Daytona Double Tree

When a cleaning lady found me unconscious on the floor of my bathroom, my heart had already been stopped for 20 minutes. She and her manager prayed over my body for another 30 minutes while they waited for the EMT's to arrive, who immediately pronounced me dead. They transported my body to a local morgue. I woke up in a sealed coffin as they were preparing to bury my unidentified body in a grave marked "John Doe"

4. Detroit Ramada

When I walked into my room, I was startled to find an old blind man in the room, ziptied to the radiator. Upon hearing me come in, he immediately started to beg for help. He said that he was a very wealthy man, and he had been hoodwinked by a beautiful woman. She had drugged him, destroyed his ID, killed his seeing eye dog, and left him there with nothing! He told me that he had to get to Lucerne, Switzerland within 48 hours so that he could freeze his bank accounts before she drained them.

I was so afraid of getting into a confrontation with the man that I remained completely silent.

He said "I know you're there! I can hear you breathing! Are you working with them?!" But I just stayed totally silent while the blind man begged for my help for nearly 2 hours. "Please" he said "just tell me what city I'm in? What country? She drugged me!"

When I complained at the front desk, they gave me a 20% off voucher for my next visit, which seemed generous. 

5. Auschwitz

Not every vacation has to be centered around your mating dance just because you're a single guy. That's a very un-evolved way of thinking. Every one should visit Auschwitz to pay silent witness to the gruesome depths of humanity, even if you’re a “single guy” and you think that makes you special.

Sorry if you were looking for a Señor Frogs. 

6. Go to hell.

I don't understand what you want from me.

These Robots Are Going To Dance On Your Grave

I’m a very reasonable guy, everybody know that. I like to stay in my lane— I don’t go around throwing out hot takes to stir up panic and sew discord.

So believe me when I tell you these robots are going to kill you. It won’t be long before you’re watching them dance through a periscope from an underground bunker. You’re going to have to eat your dog and shit in a bucket and they’re going to be up there doing the Cha Cha Slide on your neighbors’ bones.

We’ll see how cute you think these dancing robots are on Judgement Day, I guess. Don’t get mad at me about it, I’m just trying to be reasonable.

via GIPHY