Rattlesnake OG: It'll Jump Up And Bite Ya
/OG Kush is a potent and distinct strain of cannabis.
It has a strong, piney aroma and high levels of THC, which provokes a famously cerebral high.
It was first cultivated by the famed grow team now known as Imperial Genetics, and the most common genetic heritage of the strain I have heard is a cross between Hindu Kush (a pure Indica Afghani landrace) and Chemdawg '91. Local phenotypes and crossbreeds of OG Kush dominate the West Coast cannabis scene, and can be identified by the valuable "OG" suffix on their name.
I gotta admit, I'm not a huge fan. It's almost heretical to say, but I rarely enjoy smoking an OG strain. I've had a few winners and I love the unique smell and taste, but I consistently find that OG strains give me dark thoughts.
I smoke cannabis to deal with some routine anxiety, and because it's super fun. While the right strain helps to quiet the ever-ringing bell of panic, the wrong strain can kick it in to overdrive, and the wrong strain tends to have "OG" in it's name.
There's no convincing an OG smoker of that, though. OG devotees are a special breed of stoner. Glassy eyed zealots who want you to share in the terpy goodness of Jesus OG or succumb to the dark side for Vader OG.
Well, one of them got in my ear about this Rattlesnake OG. "Grown outdoors" he said, "way more mellow" he said. "OK," I said, "I just have to remember not to think dark thoughts."
Sesh 1: The Handmaid’s Tale
OK, right off the bat: terrible call. I’ll own that. I’ve heard a bit about The Handmaid’s Tale but I didn’t know exactly what it is. I thought it was kind of a big crazy sci-fi (which I guess it is) but let’s be totally clear: this is a rape show.
I did not know that this was that kind of show when the missus suggested we give it a shot. I figured “Hey, she made a great call with I Love Dick, let’s send it.” But then we watched a rape show, so of course that went really poorly. But that can hardly be blamed on the Rattlesnake, and this, after all, is a review of Rattlesnake OG. It’s not a review of the Handmaid’s Tale (which is good because I could only review the first 42 minutes of the show because that’s all I watched before turning it off.)
(Actually, I didn't turn it off. I went to the bedroom and closed the door and read comic books while the wife finished the episode.)
I really don’t like to see rape used indiscriminately as a storytelling device. And I’m not saying that’s what’s happening here, and let me also be clear that I’m also glad that we live in an age in which pop culture has space for works of narrative art that explore the complex trauma of sexual violence from multiple angles. Kudos to all of the artists out there who are taking on such a daunting task on highly visible platforms.
But with that being said, I feel uncomfortable using the word “rape” as many times as would be necessary to tell you how much I hated this show. So let me just call it the “R” word for now, and tell you that this is an “R” word show, and it’s too much for me.
The first 40 minutes or so are heavy with the threat of our main character getting R’ed, then (SPOILER ALERT) she does. Then we go to a commercial break, and I realize that the show still has like 20 minutes left. So I say fuck it, and bounce.
The “R” word is my least favorite of all potential plot elements. It’s just a lot to deal with on any given night. You’ve got to deal with a lot of R’s in Game Of Thrones, but that show also has dragons and ice zombies. I couldn't even finish a full season of West World, and that show has robots and cowboys but all of the R stuff was just way too heavy for me. The Handmaid’s Tale has exactly zero dragons, zombies, robots, and cowboys (total); it just has a bunch of ladies dressed up like pilgrims getting R’ed all the time.
I watched all of Jessica Jones, too, and I also didn’t like all of the R stuff in that. Again, I am glad that the show was able to use the highly accessible superhero genre to explore some underexposed issues, but that’s just not why I watch Marvel. I watch Marvel to see robo-nuclear supermen and intergalactic space pirates, not R stuff.
I watched Room. That was all about R and I thought that was a great movie. Hard to watch at times, but incredibly moving and a brilliant artistic expression by multiple parties working in sync. Brie Larson’s performance was genius, but I sure hope she doesn’t get R’ed in Captain Marvel.
So in summation, I do not think it is a very good idea to smoke Rattlesnake OG and watch the Handmaid’s Tale on Hulu.
Sesh 2: Smoking bowls and watching 9/11 tribute country music videos on Youtube late at night.
Oh boy, I don’t know how I got here, but here I am. This did not go well for me.
Sesh 3: Taking close-up photos of my weed and writing a eulogy for my son in my head (I don't have any kids, never did/never gonna) and crying a little bit.
Ho-lee shit. Fuck me. I think I might be ready to blame this on the weed.
I was just trying to take these pretty photos of all my weed so that all of my friends would look at it and think it's pretty and then they'd think that I'm really cool or whatever, but then I just suddenly had this vision of myself in a black suit, standing over a tiny little casket...
Again, I have to clarify that I don't have kids. I've never had kids and my wife and I are happily planning to just make movies and comics instead of people... it's just this weird vision that I had, and it was a lot to deal with.
I think I would prefer to generally avoid this potential negative side effect of smoking pot. I plough down a bowl of GDP and sleep like the innocent.
Sesh 4: #SadSaturday wake & bake.
Man, life is kind of hard. This wasn't really a great week for me. I guess it didn't help that I was smoking so god damned much of this weed that was making me feel all depressed and squirrelly (I gotta add "Squirelly" to the word cloud), but it was definitely a pretty thoroughly shitty week.
But now I've got a quiet, foggy morning in San Francisco with nothing to do but get stoned and blog about it. It starts turning itself into a story, and I can laugh about it. Life is hard for sure-- especially if you're doing it right-- but it's worth it.
Smoking pot helps.
Final score: 59
"Because, you stupid old man, I am a snake."
The Rattlesnake OG looks great, smells great, and tastes great. It's potent and cerebral. It's a beautiful outdoor varietal of the classic OG Kush. If you're an OG fan, I bet you'll love it.
But I'm no OG fan. More often than not, it was a nightmare. Granted, I kind of leaned in to that. And there is a bit of a chicken/egg situation at play here, since I was already feeling pretty down this week, then I made a few viewing decisions that didn't help, and maybe oversmoked this stuff. But sometimes it's a good dose of some heavy cannabis that I really need to uncork my feelings, and that Saturday morning #wakeandbake really hit the spot.
Some time soon, I'm going to get a little cabin in the woods for the weekend, maybe up by Guerneville, and I'm going to take the wife up there. We'll unplug for the weekend, drink some beers in the sun, and let it all hang out. I'll keep Rattlesnake OG in mind for then.
But don't take my word for it...
If you want to try Rattlesnake OG from Flow Kana for yourself, it's currently available at Grass Roots .
Then hit us up on Twitter @TheFriscoYeti and tell us your #YetiScore for #RattlesnakeOG by using the #StrainScoreCard!