Grading The Latest Boof Cart Bootlegger Mugshots- Gio "Pocket Bulge" Molina and Amanda "Ice Pick" Ware

The boof cart business is boomin’!

And while Johnny Law thinks he calls the shots in the vape game, some outlaws still play by their own rules.

But that these boof cart bandidos got caught so we’re sending them back to Bootlegger University and giving them grades based on their latest arrest records and mugshots.

Govanny "Gio" Molina and Amanda Ware

From Fox 6 Milwaukee:

MILWAUKEE --  A Milwaukee man and woman allegedly caught with nearly $1 million in cash and nearly 20 pounds of marijuana in their home were in court Monday, Oct. 14 for their preliminary hearings, which they waived. These offenses were just the tip of the iceberg, according to prosecutors.

Amanda Ware, 30, and Govanny Molina, 34 face the following criminal counts:

-Possession with intent to deliver a controlled substance, THC, greater than 10,000 grams, as a party to a crime, use of a dangerous weapon (Ware, Molina)

-Maintaining a drug trafficking place, use of a dangerous weapon (Ware, Molina)

Amanda “Ice Pick” Ware (I just gave her that nickname) and Gio “Henchmen #1” Molina made a cool million bucks off their Dank Vapes franchise. She’s got the eyes of a cold blooded throat cutter and her man Gio has the sleepy grimmace of a henchman who sells knockoff Brass Knuckles in bulk to cart bois. Allegedly.

Let’s have a look at the haul Milwaukee’s finest pulled out of the trap:

-Cardboard box containing different amounts of marijuana in plastic bags and in jars

-Val-Halla brand packages of Cannabis-infused gummies

-Bags of marijuana labeled with the various types, strains

-Gray totes containing $450,000+ in one, $452,000+ in another

-Gray tote containing vacuum sealed bags

-Black Smith and Wesson M&P .40 caliber semi-automatic handgun with a laser stored in a safe in an ottoman (firearm was loaded)

-Various ammunition

-Various pieces of jewelry valued at thousands of dollars

-More than $30,000 in cash located in a dresser

-More than 5,300 grams of marijuana in bags and containers

-13,509 THC vape cartridges and THC edibles in plastic containers labeled with names like "King Pen," "Connected Brass Knuckles," "Cookies," and "Dank."

I also really like this touch:

On one of the surveillance dates, law enforcement observed Molina with a large bulge in his right front pants pocket. Based on the shape of this object, law enforcement believed the object was a firearm.

Ok, let’s give this power couple a combined report card:

The culprits: I love a love story and there’s something about these 2 crazy kids that pulls at my heart. They’ve got a lot of character and this is a pretty ballsy crime. They dreamed big and went down hard. Flew too close to the sun because they were drunk in love-- it’s the oldest story in the book. I’m rooting for them. B+

The setting: Good ol’ Milwaukee. I had to google it to figure out that it’s in Wisconsin. I would have guessed Minnesota. Cannabis is pretty illegal in Wisconsin. They allow only very limited access to CBD for medical patients. The laws are rather strict and they’ll give you a felony for a second offense of simple possession. It’s also kind of a hardscrabble beer town in the rugged and manly part of the midwest. B

The crime: Big points for the black market legend Dank Vapes. Valhalla Gummies are a Bay Area brand, so bonus points for that. The King Pen carts look pretty legit. They’ve also got 20 pounds of weed laying around, which is cool. Walking around with a loaded handgun with a laser scope stuffed down your trousers will cost you some points though. B-

The haul: A million is a lot of dollars. “Thousands of dollar of jewelry” brings a nice flourish to the trap house. A-

The bust: Tipped off by the neighbors, the cops ran a surveillance operation and these 2 acted like very guilty bozo’s in public on the regular. B-

The X Factors: That look in her eyes… B+

Final Grade: B

Arraignments are set for October 30th so stay tuned for updates. I’ve got the over/under at 10 years.

These Robots Are Going To Dance On Your Grave

I’m a very reasonable guy, everybody know that. I like to stay in my lane— I don’t go around throwing out hot takes to stir up panic and sew discord.

So believe me when I tell you these robots are going to kill you. It won’t be long before you’re watching them dance through a periscope from an underground bunker. You’re going to have to eat your dog and shit in a bucket and they’re going to be up there doing the Cha Cha Slide on your neighbors’ bones.

We’ll see how cute you think these dancing robots are on Judgement Day, I guess. Don’t get mad at me about it, I’m just trying to be reasonable.

via GIPHY