Hello, my name is Sad Tom.

I am an intern at CTOB, which is a job that I don't like very much. I thought that it would be my dream job because I am generally capable when it comes to menial tasks. But I hate it.

Mostly I just keep track of receipts and make dinner reservations for Mr. McGee and Ms. Mealla. Sometimes I book rental cars for them too. Once a feral cat came into the office, and they told me I had to be "in charge of the cat" until the SPCA arrived. I was very proud to be given that amount of responsibility, but unfortunately, I failed terribly at being in charge of the cat.

Mr. McGee told me that I can't call him a "scumbag" in public or on the internet anymore, so I won't tell you what I think about him.

While the owners are on vacation, they have left me in charge of the blog feed of CTOB. They smugly seemed to think it would be a big honor or something, but it's really a terrible nuisance. I guess that's actually the part of this job that I hate so much: the internet.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not "anti-technology". I love making copies and sending faxes. But the internet just seems really childish and stupid to me. It's very gross. Trust me, I know–I spend many hours every day on the internet and I can tell you first hand that it is full of perverts, scumbags, and lonely idiots. 

This is what I am going to do while I am in charge of CTOB:

#Sad Tom's Illustration A Day Challenge

This one seems pretty easy. I think I'll do 100 days or maybe a full year. I have a lot of good ideas already. This will likely start tomorrow.

#Sad Tom Run's A Marathon!

That's right, I'm going to take up jogging for the first time in my life and run a marathon! I'm not sure when, I'm going to spend some time looking into marathons later. But I figure I need about 3 months to prepare and I assume the company will pay for my travel and lodging if I want to do something international. I am going to start by looking into marathons in Europe and Asia that are coming up about 3 months from now, and then I will find an excercise routine which can transform me into a marathon runner! I will post my first update on this tomorrow as well (probably). 

#Sad Tom's Healthy Breakfast Blend

Every morning, I am going to start the day by making a healthy juice blend. I am going to research exciting and delicious recipes from around the world. I am going to film myself making the juice blend every morning and upload it to YouTube. Hopefully this project will get the support it deserves and it will be seen by millions of people. I also hope that this might help with my chronic digestive problems. I am going to start working on a Kickstarter campaign to buy a Vitamix, and I will (hopefully) be able to give you an update on this tomorrow. 

These 3 media campaigns will all start tomorrow and update daily. 

If I have to work for a website, I would much prefer to work for EliteDaily.com.

So I will also be writing several lifestyle blogs which hopefully serve as writing samples which they will take into consideration. These will generally fall under the "self-help/spiritual guidance" genre of blogging. 

Also, I have been told that I have to share my Twitter handle.

It's @CTOBSadTom but I would really prefer that you not be nosy and look at my profile. I just like to use Twitter to write about my private thoughts.