I had the idea for Barry’s World in early 2016: the story of an illustrator who is trying to manifest his dreams while his real life falls apart around him. The story would be transmedia- told across multiple platforms; starting with the main character’s blog where he publishes a semi-autobiographical comic, and extending to Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and even LinkedIn.

Barry’s World is a comic about married life, written and illustrated by a man who doesn’t realize that he is a bad husband. He is falling short of his dreams and he is frustrated. He’s down to his last chance and he’s putting everything into his art and making a desperate grab for his dreams— at all costs.

There were 3 primary influences on Barry’s World:

The Lizzie Bennet Diaries- The infrastructure of Barry’s World is heavily influenced by this innovative and incredibly well articulated retelling of Pride & Prejudice. I saw Bernie Su— one of the creators of the Lizzie Bennet diaries— speak at SF WebFest and it planted a seed in me.

Barstool Sports- Love him or hate him, Dave Portnoy inadvertently reinvented reality tv for the blogging age. I’ve been following his sports blog since it’s inception, routinely checking Barstool for gambling tips and funny commentary on the Red Sox and the Patriots. In that time, the story has become less about the blog and more about the bloggers. While fans of the site come for podcasts, videos, and blogs, it’s the real life stories of the people behind the front page that keep us coming back.

Babbitt by Sinclair Lewis - It’s like the Old Testament for the Proud Boys, and main character George Babbitt is the Moses of mediocre middle-class dudes who feel cucke’ed by the American Dream.

I wanted to tell a story that captured all of these elements in Barry’s World, incorporating my own love for illustration and leaning into my morose sense of humor.

That never quite happened, though. Stick around to the end of this blog and I’ll be happy to tell you why.

Still, I believe Barry’s World has got some life left in it. Maybe if I put it out into the world, it still has a spark that can catch fire.

Presenting for the first time, the complete (so far) Barry’s World:

note: As many of these comics are unfinished, I’ve included the script under some pieces in italics and indented. Non-italicized text represents my own commentary.

Act 1: Barry the Bad Husband

1.1: Chore Day

1.2: Make Up Your Mind

1.3 Chef Barry

Mrs Melon: Barry! Dinner’s ready!

Barry: Woohoo!

Mrs Melon: I made [super fancy dish] using my great-grandmothers hand written recipe from the old country, with just a few substitutions to make it lower in sodium, vegan, and [synonym for bougie health food]!

Barry: Hmm…

Barry: I’ll just throw a few of these left over chicken nuggets on the side…

Barry: And a dash of ketchup…

Barry: You know what? This health food junk ain’t half bad!

Barry: (with a little help from Chef Barry!)

1.4 Holding It In

Mrs Melon: Sometimes I walk around all day, fighting desperately to hold in a relentless explosion of tears.

Barry: I’m the same way with farts!

Millenial Man

Millenial Man is the Captian Planet of wokeness.

The character is Barry’s creation— a satire of the young, woke culture for which he feels increasing resentment and hostility as he ages out of the demographic in which we’re encouraged to pursue our dreams.

A testament to our times— when I wrote this comic just a few years ago, tv pundits and bloggers were still using the term “Millenial” to complain about young people. Now Gen Z are the new Millenials and Millenials are the new Boomers. Nobody cares about Gen X still.

1.5: Melon’s Musings aka The Melon Patch

Barry seems himself as a cultural commentator.

This was peak 2016. The wokeness movement was steadily rising, as was an equally fervent backlash movement.

Melon’s Musings was Barry’s weekly blog, which would give us an insight into his perspective and also reveal narrative.

Greetings, Melon Heads!

What a first week it’s been here in Barry’s World! Thanks to everyone who joined me for the ride.

In addition to all the great comics you’ll see coming through TheRealBarryMelon.com, Melon’s Musings will be a weekly feature where I share a few pearls of wisdom, half-baked ideas, and anecdotes from my day-to-day life that don’t fit inside the panels.

Caution: You are about to step inside the mind of Barry Melon, and that can be a very dangerous place!

Here’s a little life-hack for all you foodies out there:

Try dipping your Doritos in mayonnaise to add a silky smooth swirl to your favorite zesty corn chip- you won’t regret it! I figured that tasty trick out last week when we ran out of sour cream. Plus, if you dip straight into the jar, you’ll give the rest of your left-over mayo an extra cheesy zing!

My momma once told me there are 5 ways to do something:

There’s the hard way, the easy way, the right way, the wrong way, and the highway.

I’m not totally sure what she meant by that, because most of those options aren’t mutually exclusive of one another.

The first four are pretty self-explanatory (if you don’t think about it too much), but I guess that what she meant by “the highway” is just pulling over on the side of the highway and dumping your problems right there then driving off. Because that’s what she did to me, literally while she was giving me that speech! She barely even finished it before shoving me out the door and driving away. I’m not sure the fifth one even was “the highway”, because on the third one she was unbuckling my seat belt and on the fourth she was reaching across me to open up my door. She barely even slowed down and yelled the fifth out the window as I tumbled into a drainage ditch on the side of the road. It was a heck of a way to spend my 10th birthday, but those words still resonate with me to this day!

I’m writing a rom-com called “Irregardlessly Yours”.

It’s a love story about an English professor who falls in love with an idiot.

Finally-- let me tell you a little story about a recent trip to the mall with my wife, where I got more than I bargained for…

After a good 2 hours of walking from store to store, we came upon one of those nifty little automated massage chair stations and decided to indulge. $10 for 10 minutes felt a little steep, but it had been a long day and we figured it would be worth it.

Boy oh boy, I had no idea what I was getting into!

Mrs. Melon and I settled into side-by-side each chairs as the gears beneath our seats started to churn and rumble. Almost immediately, I noticed that something seemed a bit… off. I glanced over at my lovely wife to see if she felt it too, but she was fully reclined, eyes closed, deep in the deep tissue— so I decided not to disturb her.

I’m not sure if someone had modified my chair or if it was some sort of malfunction, but the massage mechanism seemed to be oddly and distinctly focused directly on my anus!

And I’m talking BULLSEYE. That chair must have had a very sophisticated AI with some very unsophisticated proclivities, because it was remarkably adept at pushing my button!

Now, I’ve never exactly been to Greece (if you catch my drift), but I did wrestle in high school and I once went to a Morrissey concert that was a little bit too crowded for my comfort, so I’m not a total novice when it comes to these things. Still, the precision of the pulsating action made me feel like I was dealing with a feature of this chair and not a malfunction.

I quickly eye-balled the control settings and found that it was set to “Swedish Deep Tissue”, and not “French Tickle” as I had initially expected!

I glanced again at Mrs. Melon to see if she was having the same experience that I was. Either she wasn’t, or I don’t know her nearly as well as I previously thought!

Even though I was uncomfortable at first, eventually I said to myself “when in Paris…” and let myself relax and do as the Parisians do.

A few minute later, I came in my pants.

Nah, I’m just kidding! This story doesn’t have a big finale. The massage ended and we were on our way. That’s why it didn’t make it into the pages of Barry’s World. Sometimes life gives you a great setup with no punchline— like a hand job without a happy ending, or getting dry humped by a robotic chair.

I’m glad to get it off my chest now, though.

But I’ll tell you this much— I will absolutely NOT be going back to that massage station EVER AGAIN (without a wine spritzer and a copy of Us Weekly!)

Coming soon…

Keep an eye on the pages of TheRealBarryMelon.com and follow me on all social media platforms to stay up to date with the most exciting thing to come to the internet since porn!

Next week, I’ll be debuting the my new comic series Millenial Man, as well as dropping the latest installment of Barry’s World.

In next weeks edition of Melon’s Musings, I’ll be answering questions from you, the readers!

Use the form below to ask me anything— but please, no probing questions about my relationship with that chair… some things are personal!

1.6: The Woke Warrior

Act 2: Something’s Different

A shift occurs in Act 2.

Barry’s wife has cheated on him. He doesn’t know yet but he has a hunch, and that hunch is starting to show itself in his art.

Most notably, Barry introduces a new character into his comic strip: a wisecracking stray cat named Fiddlestix who routinely gives voice to Barry’s suspicions.

2.1: Boys Night In

Fiddlestix: [intro panel] Something smells fishy here and it ain’t my upper lip!

Mrs Melon: Ok boys! I’m headed out for girls night. We’ve got a full day of chores tomorrow, and Fiddlestix has to go to the Vet to get his shots, so don’t stay up too late playing video games!

Fiddlestix: I’m sorry, you seem to have accidentally said “Vet” when you clearly meant “Bar”.

Barry: Oh hi Hon! You’re a sight for sore eyes!

Fiddlestix: Hmm… your eyes must be more sore than mine!

Fiddlestix: Up all night slaying zombies, and now you’ve got to face the end boss! How ironic!

Mrs Melon: I’m going to bed… chores can wait until tomorrow.

Fiddlestix: You must have a cheat code bro!

Barry: Yep! And now we’ve got 2 extra lives, so how about we kill a few more zombies before dawn!

Fiddlestix: Sure, but don’t forget about those shots! I could use a whiskey!

2.2: Acting Weird 1

Mrs Melon: You’re acting weird!

2.3: Acting Weird 2

Barry: You’re acti…

Mrs Melon: You’re acting weird!

Fiddlestix: Yeesh! Do I get a vote?

2.4 Millenial Man Meets Average Joe

In the second Millenial Man comic, our “hero” meets his mortal enemy, Average Joe aka The White Man. Average Joe is obviously a proxy for Barry himself.

There is more text in this comic than I care to transcribe, but this comic is packed with great jokes.

2.5 Who’s Calling?

Mrs. Melon’s phone dings to alert her of a text message.

Barry: Who ya got there?

Mrs. Melon: Oh my god Barry! Must you constantly be breathing down my throat?! You’re suffocating me!

Fiiddlestix: Something smells fishy here, and it ain’t breakfast!

2.6: Mother Knows Best

Mrs Melon: I should have listened to my mother when she told me not to marry you.

Barry: And I should have listened to your mother when she told me to kill myself!

2.7: The Night It All Came Out

This is the big one. I never actually wrote a script for this comic, or any of these comics really. I know it’s undisciplined, but I do a lot of the writing during the process. I know where the comic is going and I just try to find my way through it on the page.

The story of this comic is the big reveal and the tonal shift that will take us into the third act.

The first few panels begin as normal: Mrs Melon gets a text and Barry fires off a snarky comment. But this time, instead of rolling into a punchline, the conversation builds into an ugly and uncomfortably realistic fight.

Barry and his wife are screaming their animosities at one another until it reaches a breaking point: Mrs. Melon confesses to cheating on Barry with a co-worker named Dave Finchley, then she tells him she doesn’t love Barry anymore and she’s leaving him.

Act 3: The Other Side

3.1: True Hate

True Love is standing in front of all your friends and family and PROMISING to love, cherish, and honor another person for the rest of your life.

True Hate is breaking that promise

3.2: Millenial Man Triumphant

The big climax of Millenial Man reflects Barry’s broken state.

In the last issue, Barry was still full of bluster and bravado. But now, Millenial Man has left him a broken, battered, bloodied cuckold.

3.3: Crushed

This comic was going to come with a long blog that explains that as a child, Barry adopted a stray cat and named it Fiddlestix. He loved the cat even though it was feral and poorly housebroken, and get an image of Barry as a lonely child who was desperate for some companionship. Barry goes on to reveal that his step-father, for whom Barry holds no affection, killed the cat by running it over with his car in the driveway. Barry then had to clean up the dead cat with a snow shovel, put it in a trashbag, and carry it out into the woods where he had a sad little funeral. Barry always thought his stepdad did it on purpose.

3.4 The Dream

Mrs. Melon: I just had the most horrible dream!

Barry: Shhhh… let’s go back to sleep and never wake up.

Fiddlestix: Something smells fishy here… and it ain’t my rotting carcass!

3.5: All That’s Left

This is all that’s left of me.

Dark enough for ya?

This is effectively the end of Barry’s World. A naked self portrait, wailing in agony and pissing on himself. T

he last two comics highlight an element I enjoyed carrying throughout Barry’s World—his drawings of himself reflect his own self-image. When Barry is feeling low, he draws himself fatter and balder than usual.

3.6: Barry In Bro Town

Big Tex: It’s true what they say, isn’t it boys… “Only the good die young”?

DJ: He wasn’t that young.

Barry: He wasn’t that good!

In the final comic that Barry would ever publish, he is setting up a new chapter for himself: Barry in Bro-Town.

The accompanying blog explains that this new comic will tell the story of a single guy who moves into an apartment complex that’s notoriously full of bachelors. He surrounds himself with a group of hip, wise cracking friends and they set out on adventure of self-discovery while frolicking in the swinging singles scene.

Here, we close Barry’s story the same way we opened it— with a blog announcing a big new plan, apologizing for not following through on the old plan, and declaring his commitment to live his life as a whole new man with renewed purpose.

While Barry is ostensibly trying to continue his story on an optimistic note, every day that passes without an update is a continuation of Barry’s sad story, living unhappily ever after.

So what went wrong?

First of all, making comics is really fucking hard, ok? Making any thing is hard. But it is a scientifically proven fact that making comics is objectively more difficult than raising children. I know this to be true because I’ve seen it with my own eyes— a lot of my friends have kids and it seems super easy.

So that’s first and foremost— hand up, I didn’t pull it off. I got distracted, moved on to another project with every intention of looping back, then let 5 years go by and here we are.

Writing from life experience is hard too.

When I started working on this comic, I was recently married. My wife and I get along great and none of this comic is based on our marriage. My wife and I have squabbled as much as any other couple, but nothing like poor Barry and Mrs. Melon.

But the thing is, moments of truth slip in. Sometimes I’d find myself putting together the story, looking for a beat or a moment that will advance the narrative. As I plumbed my memories for inspiration, I might remember a fight with the wife that rang true to the moment I was looking for in the story.

Then I’d have to wonder if it was something she would want to see turn up in a comic with a particularly unfavorable perspective, or if that might hurt her feelings.

I deeply believe in Alan Ginsberg’s quote: “The poet always stands naked before the world.” I relish in this kind of self-exposure. At this point in my life, however, I was still taking the first few steps into a shared life. We don’t live our lives in a vacuum, and telling our own stories sometimes means telling stories about the people we love, too.

As an artist and a newlywed, telling the story of Barry Melon while protecting the story of Bo McGee was a hard balancing act.

Then there were the early supporters…

This, it turns out, was the biggest challenge. As I mentioned, Barry’s World was meant to be a transmedia story. While the story of Barry Melon played out in his comic, the real story was the meta-story of the illustrator. We were poised to see his life fall apart through his blog feed, and even through his social media presence.

I wanted Barry’s World to be an immersive experience, but not a prank. As much as I wanted to draw people into the story, I was hesitant to dupe anyone.

I started to publish Barry’s World on a few different platforms for indy comics. I put it into the world earnestly— as Barry Melon, without the pretense of the meta-story crafted by Bo McGee. I quickly got a few responses, overwhelmingly from guys just like Barry.

They were nice, well-intentioned, and supportive. Most of them were making their own comics just like Barry’s World and a few suggested collaborations.

I would always write back and tell them that Barry doesn’t exist, and that a multi-platform narrative would unfold if they stayed tuned in. Some of them got it, some felt deceived. There was always a certain tension— it wasn’t clear to them if Barry’s World was mocking them. It wasn’t meant to, but our intentions don’t always matter.

So with waning interest and conflicting loyalties, I put Barry’s World on the shelf for a bit.

What’s next?

If you’ve read this far, maybe there’s still life in ol’ Barry Melon. Maybe there’s still something worth saving. As I re-read the story now, some parts of it feel dated but most of it holds up. The bones of the story are still good, and the transmedia concept still plays too.

Like I said at the start of this blog, I’m putting Barry’s World out into the world now in hopes that it might have enough of a spark left in it to start a little fire. If you want to throw some gas on that fire, shoot me a message. I’m always looking for collaborators, conspirators, and like-minded creatives, so use the form below to get in touch and let’s see if Barry Melon still has a little life left in him.

Buy The Stoner Saga— my PUBLISHED masterpiece!